We're cheap....but some things are worth more than $5.99/person

We were walking down the sidewalk in Old Sac, away from Annabelle's, back to the car. Frank, Charley, Emily, and I. There was no talking, and then I interrupted the silence by thinking aloud: "I think that was the worst meal I have ever had in my whole life!" Frank looked at me thoughtfully and said, "It WAS, wasn't it!" We all started laughing, and the laughter didn't stop for the 5 more blocks to the car and for several more miles in the car ride home. We called Allison and Sam to tell them about it, but no words would come out....just laughter. I know they were jealous....wishing they could have been there to partake of the family laugh-in, if not the food that brought it on.

We are not food snobs. We'll eat almost anything, and on this day, we DID. I can't believe it, now that I think about it. Always ones to get our money's worth, and not ones to rock the boat, we ate the food and didn't ask for our money back, even though at first we thought we had been completely ripped off.

This is how we ended up there in the first place: We had gone to Old Sac to take pictures and walk around. After hitting the candy store that gave out "free" samples, we were on our way back to the car with the intention of stopping to eat on the way home.... until a little girl on the street corner handed us the coupon. Annabelle's. Perfect! It sounded like a good deal, was only a couple of blocks away, and we were really hungry.

The establishment was in a back alley, down some stairs, and it smelled like sewage, dead animals, old trash. We overlooked it. That should have been a big red flag. We walked in the door, and right inside was the cashier. You paid first, which, looking back, was another blazing red flag.


If we had just glanced around before handing over our debit card! Past the sentinel at the cash register, we first noticed the big scruffy camping jug on the end of the salad bar table. Then the paper plates and the salad bar consisting only of a small bowl of wilted iceburg lettuce, some faded and limp broccoli florets...tiny stale croutons...and some unlabeled dressing. Their "pasta" dishes were various noodles floating in colored water, with crumbled dried leaves on top. The pizza wasn't out yet. I know we, and the other patrons, were all thinking the same thing: you can't really ruin pizza. We all anxiously awaited it's arrival out of the oven, while tentatively eating our other "food". Then...one 10" pizza was plopped down on the table. We practically tripped over each other trying to get to it. When I saw it I knew for sure that it was the cheapest frozen pizza you could ever possibly buy at the cheapest store you could find.....back in the 60's...maybe. We still ate, a little, and didn't complain at all.....none of us did, which was weird now that I think about it. I guess we were trying to make the best of it, trying to be polite, trying to get our money's worth, and trying not to throw up, all at the same time. Too much trying. You shouldn't have to try that hard.

FAST FORWARD

Today, a couple of years later, Frank and I passed by Old Sac on our way home from the bay area. We were hungry, and I jokingly said, "Well, we could stop at Annabelle's!" Then I decided it would be fun to google it, and see if there were any reviews. Well, we hit the jackpot! Here are a few:

"Stay Away..."‎

"Run Away‎..."

"E-Coli Heaven‎..."

"I stay near Old Sac as a business person for a month at a time. During my last stay I heard more bad things about this place than any other place by the people at the hotel. I didn't have the cajones to try it myself...."‎

"The mac & cheese stained the plates & our mouths!! YUK!!!"

"The waiter smelled like BO." ‎

"Their pizza is so bland and so dry that it felt like I was eating some sort of thick paper."

"The salad bar can be more properly labeled a lettuce bar."

"Pizza tasted like plain plain plain plain s---."

"Oh, and they give you a cup and if you want water you can get it yourself from one of those cooler jugs that you see at football games. Those big orange coolers, yeah you know what I'm talking about. So serve yourself some water if you get thirsty. And I wouldn't know how the water tastes 'cause I was totally disgusted."

"You dont even have to fill up your glass of water, just drink the mac and cheese and you will be fully hydrated and hungry."

"Super dark in there, kinda scary. The bathroom creeped me out...."

"It was weird.... I walked by the kitchen on my way to the restroom and didn't see any cooking going on in there. It was empty!"

"The macaroni and cheese is watered down and the "ziti" is pasta with a mixture of one part tomato sauce, three parts water. The salad is okay I suppose if you don't like toppings on it."

"Horrible Food...."

"The 'buffet' was a gastronomic disaster. The pizza was horrible. Honestly, if you spread Wonder Bread with catsup and melted a slice of good old American cheese on top it would have been better. Did I mention bland and tasteless? One pizza had a few tiny pieces of sausage (of unknown origin) scattered across some portions of it. Horrible. As for the 'pasta' dishes-- I hope no real Italians ever come to this establishment to dine as they would feel compelled to destroy it as an insult to their culture and national cuisine."

"Pros: Proximity of unclean restroom to dispose of disgusting food. I would eat from a trash can before I ate here again."

"Literally the worst place I have ever eaten. I felt like I was robbed...I think I would commit suicide before eating in this place again."

"It was absolutely positively the most hideous dining experience I've had in years, bar none."

"You take a stairwell down below Old Sacramento to find Annabelle's. They have great lunch specials, and a family-friendly atmosphere. And, there's even a patio!"

WHAT??? OK, that had to be written by the owners....and so must the next two:

"Great Pizza doesn't even describe it‎."
(You're right, that DOESN'T describe it!)

"If there were more stars I could add I would, as its such a great Pizza Parlor. But its not like a 'regular' Pizza Place, it's more of an old school pizza experience. Its very home-oriented. You feel very comfortable at the location."
(Liar!)

After reading the reviews (the REAL ones) written by the customers, Frank and I felt validated, like we had proof. Those we've told this story to gave us that look that said, "You're just exaggerating....it couldn't be THAT bad!" But as you can see, Frank, Charley, Emily, and I are part of a select group of people who have all experienced the same, horrifying dining experience and lived to tell the story.

The review that captures my feelings about Annabelle's best is the following:

"The only good thing that came out of that place was the jokes and laughs we get every time we mention it!"

Yes, it cost $5.99 per person, but I've been thinking....it was worth it. You know, some people pay to go to the movies to laugh. Those cost more than going to Annabelle's. So I think it was a great investment! We will never forget it, and it will provide for laughter repeats for years to come. I love that. Next time you're in Sacramento, you gotta go!

My son-in-law Mike is a writer, and I think we'll take him there the next time they are here...there is a good story there. Maybe after he finishes the one about Manni, the grocer/mortician in our former town of Portola...the man with the long, curled and waxed mustache that roasted chickens at Southside market by day, and embalmed dead bodies in his basement at night.