Our girls.....taken in an alley on Center Street, Provo, Utah....August 28, 2010

My Family

Bullet Proof....lovin' that song.....perfect for trying sunglasses on at the street fair in Huntington Beach.  Makes me wanna dance the "shovel dance!" (Only my girls know what that is.....) The tags look like spiders, or a weird tattoo maybe. Ali just turned 26.....me 50.  I got in trouble for taking a picture with the sunglasses on, without buying them....haha

Headed Home.....Coeur d'Alene, Idaho

Sandy, I'll Miss You!

I want you to meet my friend, Sandy....she's the one on the left.  I miss her. I'm sad that the whole world didn't get to know the amazing woman I came to know and love.  I don't use the word "friend" lightly, for she was the truest of blue.  I knew without a doubt that she loved me. She was the friend that showed me what true strength in the face of adversity really is.  She shaped the last ten years of my life into something more special than it would otherwise have been. I am a different person because of her influence in my life.



For the past 10 years my feet wore a path to first her house across the street, and then for the past 9, my car knew it's way to a little old nursing home called Mountain Manor in Carmichael...."A place of love".  See the lady in the background, just to the left of Sandy's head?  That is Tina....and I love her, too.  Tina is the activities director there, and I never left Mountain Manor without Tina hugging me tightly and telling me she loved me and thanking me so much for coming.  Another amazing woman.  I wish you could meet her, too.  This is a lonnnnnng story....I could write a book.  So much to tell.....so many amazing characters in the story....I have truly been blessed. From what I write, I'm sorry that you will only get a glimpse.



Sandy and I had a connection from the start....back in May of 2000 when she and her mom and dad (Maxine and Bob) moved in across the street.  She was recovering from a major stroke, as was her dad.  They had no car and I noticed that they were hiring a taxi to take them to the grocery store and doctor appointments.  I went to the door to meet them.....Bob knelt down to tie my then 8-year-old Emily's shoe, and said, "If you ever need your shoe tied, you just come over and I'll tie it for you."  With their midwest hospitality (they were from Iowa), they invited me right in, and thus began our journey together. 


Maxine and Bob passed away in 2000 and 2001.....but I haven't forgotten them.  I refer to the corner by Sutter Hospital as "Maxine Corner" because so many times we sat at that light on the way to or from the emergency room. Bob had dementia, and "vacuumed up the dandelions" which he thought were growing in his livingroom, but was a prince of a guy. We went through so much together.....I wish I could tell you it all. They became family to us.  Through the years, so many thought that I was Sandy's daughter, and sometimes I'd let them believe it because her own two children had abandoned her.


I got the call from Mountain Manor on Saturday May 22nd that Sandy had taken a turn, and that I needed to come right away. I had just been there 3 days earlier, the first time ever that Sandy very kindly asked me to leave, because she wasn't feeling well. She was scared.....her doctor had told us recently that her prognosis wasn't good...her lungs were shutting down.


For the past 10 years it had become a ritual of mine as I walked down the hall to her room to glance sideways at the two nameplates outside the door before entering. I had to make sure "Sandy Clark" was still there. To me, her life was always hanging in the balance....every breath was hard work for her, and every step an effort. In the end, I noticed that her upper chest was very muscular from the effort.  Most people would have given up, but she fought for her life every day.  I never knew the healthy Sandy, but I am sure that she was a spitfire....she had the best sense of humor ever, and we had so many great laughs together.  A week before she passed away, Emily and I and Betty Ann (another resident) and Sandy were dying laughing about the time Eric (an aide) had to rescue Pam (an very large old roommate of Sandy's), from the bathtub, and her "girls" were practically smothering him as he tried to lift her out. Good old Eric.....love him, too!



When I got the call, it was surreal. I rushed over, taking the time on the 30 minute drive to remember all of our time together. The tears kept coming.  I was able to reach Frank ...."Hurry, she's dying." When Frank came into the room, she said, barely audibly, "I really like your tie."  After awhile, Frank left to go home. Sandy at this point could barely communicate, but she reached her hand up behind my neck and pulled my ear right down where she could whisper in it....I thought, "She's going to tell me something really important....her last words, maybe". She said, "Tell Frank I really liked his tie." That's Sandy....she is dying, and with her last words, she's paying someone a compliment. I love that about her. I always will.

My oldest 3 girls were in Mesquite, Nevada that night, spending a weekend together in a hotel.  I called to tell them that Sandy was dying.....and relayed to Sandy a message from each of them.  They sent a picture of themselves via the phone of them giving her the "I LOVE YOU" sign in sign language.  It broke my heart to see the tears in their eyes.  They loved her, too.

That night, our friend Jose came shuffling slowly into the room. He placed his hand on her and said, "God Bless You"...tears streaming down his cheeks, shook his head, and shuffled out of the room. He and Sandy came to Mountain Manor about the same time, have always sat at the same table in the dining room. Jose is special to me, too. He was hit by a train when he was four years old, and has spent his life in "facilities"....he is basically blind, and speaks a mixture of Spanish and English that you learn to translate. He also has no family that comes to visit.  He loves Chile Rellenos. That is another story that I hope to write.



I always thought I was all Sandy had....I knew she loved the staff, and that they really liked her, too, but in those final hours I witnessed the great love and affection that the nursing staff and her friends there had for her. There were many I love you's, kisses on the forehead and cheek, squeezing her hand, thanking her for the impact she had on their lives. I could never leave Sandy alone these past ten years, and I would not leave her side while she was dying. I spent the night there at the manor, and Sunday morning when I was alone with her, I told her I loved her one last time, that I would miss her, but it was really OK to let go. And she did. 



Rhoda and Anau were the nurses on duty......both in their late 20's.  They told me that every time they came into the room together, Sandy would make a comment about what they were wearing, like, "You girls are looking sassy today!"  As Sandy's good friend Elaine and I watched, Anua very gently arranged Sandy's body.....straightened her legs, folded her hands, closed her eyes, brushed her hair.....and had to continually wipe her own tears that kept falling on Sandy's face.  She finally put her cheek next to Sandy's and just wept. 



Now don't you wish you had known Sandy, and all of these other people, too?  I do.

When I returned ten days later, I brought a big bouquet of flowers with a letter to the staff.....telling them that the work they do is what the Savior would do if he were here.  We all laughed and cried as we talked about our friend Sandra Jean Clark. 

Her best friend at Mountain Manor was named Elaine.  Elaine and I kept vigil together at Sandy's bedside that night, and became very close.  Sandy kept jokingly telling Elaine that she wanted her to go with her. When I left that day, I promised her my days of visiting Mountain Manor were not over just because Sandy was gone.  This is Elaine, on the right.....


A couple of days ago, I returned, with the express purpose of visiting Elaine and Jose.  I walked in, and saw Tina at the very end of the hall....when she saw me, she stopped short and said, "Jo?"  I walked the length of the hall to her as she just stood there, not moving.  She was crying....and told me that Elaine died unexpectedly.  That when she had heard the news, she literally layed down on the floor in Elaine's room and cried and cried. Elaine is the one that referred to Mountain Manor as "A Place of Love."  I'm so sad that Elaine is gone, but it makes me smile to know that those two are together, probably doing cartwheels or something.

I went down the hall to visit Jose, who is now missing his two best friends.  We had a good talk and I told him I'd bring him some chile rellenos next time, which got me a big smile.


Finally, I stopped by the office to see if I could get copies of some pictures of Sandy.  When I walked in, Carol at the desk said, "Marjorie.....we'd like you to start visiting Marjorie.  She doesn't get any visitors." So Marjorie and I met for the first time, the beginning of what I hope will be a great friendship.


Well......like I said, it's a long story.  I just know one thing.  For the rest of my life, I will be visiting my friends at Mountain Manor.  All because I met Sandy.

what goes up comes crashing down after oral surgery, and sometimes sisters say the darndest things just to make their younger sister feel stupid.

Modern Drug has dredged up a random memory for me today. Please don't think I'm weird, but I'm just going to get it down on paper, for "posterity". And if Barb reads this, I'm curious if she remembers it the same way, or remembers it at all. I think I am the keeper of random, meaningless memories from our growing-up years in the 60's and 70's.
One day when I was 15, I had oral surgery. My younger brother Brad had told me that when he went "under" for the first time, he sang, "Saturday Superstar, Saturday Superstar, Saturday Superstar Mo-vie!" one time, and then it was over. He must've sang it pretty darn slow, I figure. My older brother Bruce had just had oral surgery a week before, and afterward was in so much pain that he stomped his foot really hard on the floor for a couple of hours. I wondered what my own experience would be.

In the waiting room, I was scared ....but thanking my lucky stars at the same time. The girl ahead of me was getting every one of her teeth pulled and getting dentures. I was only getting two upper molars sawed off the bone. Yes, I said SAWED. Not pulled, but sawed off with a saw, I assume. I had braces, and, the orthodontist had recently discovered that my teeth weren't moving because of these two steadfast stubborn old fellows. "They must be removed", he said....and so they were. I now have two bridges in their place, and all other teeth were able to move into their assigned spots.

After I emerged from the fog of the anesthetic, I think I was high. I was joyously happy. About what? I didn't know. I lounged on the recovery couch with a great big smile on my face, and everytime my mom asked me if I was ready to go yet, I'd slur in a sexy-sounding voice, "in a minute....". She'd ask me again in 10 minutes, and I'd say the same thing. Repeatedly for 30 minutes, which to me seemed like three. I thought she was getting really annoying, but I just laughed it off....hahaha. You silly, impatient mother!

On the way to Modern Drug Coffee Shop for a milkshake, which was next door to our dad's hardware store, I, who was normally shy, got on the CB radio and carried on lengthy conversations with truck drivers and anonymous kids around my age. I really enjoyed that. I said "10-4" a lot, and other CB codes I had learned.

When we entered the drugstore, I turned a corner down an aisle, and ran into my sister Barb, a year older than me. When I saw her, I burst into uncontrollable, audible sobbing. I couldn't stop myself. She said, "What's wrong with YOU?"

I sat next to her at the coffee shop counter with my face in my hands, crying about....WELLLLLLL? I just couldn't tell ya!

The old crabby waitress named Bird served up our chocolate milkshakes, and the concerned regulars sitting directly across the narrow formica counter from us kept asking my sister "Is she alright???" To which she replied, "Oh....pfft...she just got a tooth pulled"...and then rolled her eyes.

Claire Jayne & Noble Lee....our grandkids!

Claire...modeling her one-of-a-kind dress that Sam made from a kit Allison put together from her collection of vintage fabric and notions....love it! Claire has been calling us a lot on the phone without her parents' knowledge. We love listening to her messages...my favorite is when she raises her voice an octave to say, "Byyyyyyye, PawPaw!" She calls me JOJOJOJOJO....so funny!

Here she is again, showing off her new swimsuit! My guess is that she'll get up tomorrow morning and want to wear it with Noble's onesie, her red rubber boots, and a bunny hat! That's Claire....!!!! I remember well the day Sammy was two and came out with her tights OVER her pants and proudly exclaimed, "Me dwess mysewf!"








Noble....ohhh....shhhhh! Sleeping. He's not so little anymore...he and Claire are almost the same size! I love his little bald head....can't wait to rub it!

And when he's awake, Sam and Mike say he just smiles and laughs! I always thought that Sam and Mike thought he looked like Frank because of his "bald" head (Frank shaves his)...but close your eyes, and picture Frank laughing....are you seeing what I'm seeing? Twins! Time will tell, but I think he's a Mike/Frank combo, which makes sense, because Sam was always a little Frankie-face.

My Music

We're cheap....but some things are worth more than $5.99/person

We were walking down the sidewalk in Old Sac, away from Annabelle's, back to the car. Frank, Charley, Emily, and I. There was no talking, and then I interrupted the silence by thinking aloud: "I think that was the worst meal I have ever had in my whole life!" Frank looked at me thoughtfully and said, "It WAS, wasn't it!" We all started laughing, and the laughter didn't stop for the 5 more blocks to the car and for several more miles in the car ride home. We called Allison and Sam to tell them about it, but no words would come out....just laughter. I know they were jealous....wishing they could have been there to partake of the family laugh-in, if not the food that brought it on.

We are not food snobs. We'll eat almost anything, and on this day, we DID. I can't believe it, now that I think about it. Always ones to get our money's worth, and not ones to rock the boat, we ate the food and didn't ask for our money back, even though at first we thought we had been completely ripped off.

This is how we ended up there in the first place: We had gone to Old Sac to take pictures and walk around. After hitting the candy store that gave out "free" samples, we were on our way back to the car with the intention of stopping to eat on the way home.... until a little girl on the street corner handed us the coupon. Annabelle's. Perfect! It sounded like a good deal, was only a couple of blocks away, and we were really hungry.

The establishment was in a back alley, down some stairs, and it smelled like sewage, dead animals, old trash. We overlooked it. That should have been a big red flag. We walked in the door, and right inside was the cashier. You paid first, which, looking back, was another blazing red flag.


If we had just glanced around before handing over our debit card! Past the sentinel at the cash register, we first noticed the big scruffy camping jug on the end of the salad bar table. Then the paper plates and the salad bar consisting only of a small bowl of wilted iceburg lettuce, some faded and limp broccoli florets...tiny stale croutons...and some unlabeled dressing. Their "pasta" dishes were various noodles floating in colored water, with crumbled dried leaves on top. The pizza wasn't out yet. I know we, and the other patrons, were all thinking the same thing: you can't really ruin pizza. We all anxiously awaited it's arrival out of the oven, while tentatively eating our other "food". Then...one 10" pizza was plopped down on the table. We practically tripped over each other trying to get to it. When I saw it I knew for sure that it was the cheapest frozen pizza you could ever possibly buy at the cheapest store you could find.....back in the 60's...maybe. We still ate, a little, and didn't complain at all.....none of us did, which was weird now that I think about it. I guess we were trying to make the best of it, trying to be polite, trying to get our money's worth, and trying not to throw up, all at the same time. Too much trying. You shouldn't have to try that hard.

FAST FORWARD

Today, a couple of years later, Frank and I passed by Old Sac on our way home from the bay area. We were hungry, and I jokingly said, "Well, we could stop at Annabelle's!" Then I decided it would be fun to google it, and see if there were any reviews. Well, we hit the jackpot! Here are a few:

"Stay Away..."‎

"Run Away‎..."

"E-Coli Heaven‎..."

"I stay near Old Sac as a business person for a month at a time. During my last stay I heard more bad things about this place than any other place by the people at the hotel. I didn't have the cajones to try it myself...."‎

"The mac & cheese stained the plates & our mouths!! YUK!!!"

"The waiter smelled like BO." ‎

"Their pizza is so bland and so dry that it felt like I was eating some sort of thick paper."

"The salad bar can be more properly labeled a lettuce bar."

"Pizza tasted like plain plain plain plain s---."

"Oh, and they give you a cup and if you want water you can get it yourself from one of those cooler jugs that you see at football games. Those big orange coolers, yeah you know what I'm talking about. So serve yourself some water if you get thirsty. And I wouldn't know how the water tastes 'cause I was totally disgusted."

"You dont even have to fill up your glass of water, just drink the mac and cheese and you will be fully hydrated and hungry."

"Super dark in there, kinda scary. The bathroom creeped me out...."

"It was weird.... I walked by the kitchen on my way to the restroom and didn't see any cooking going on in there. It was empty!"

"The macaroni and cheese is watered down and the "ziti" is pasta with a mixture of one part tomato sauce, three parts water. The salad is okay I suppose if you don't like toppings on it."

"Horrible Food...."

"The 'buffet' was a gastronomic disaster. The pizza was horrible. Honestly, if you spread Wonder Bread with catsup and melted a slice of good old American cheese on top it would have been better. Did I mention bland and tasteless? One pizza had a few tiny pieces of sausage (of unknown origin) scattered across some portions of it. Horrible. As for the 'pasta' dishes-- I hope no real Italians ever come to this establishment to dine as they would feel compelled to destroy it as an insult to their culture and national cuisine."

"Pros: Proximity of unclean restroom to dispose of disgusting food. I would eat from a trash can before I ate here again."

"Literally the worst place I have ever eaten. I felt like I was robbed...I think I would commit suicide before eating in this place again."

"It was absolutely positively the most hideous dining experience I've had in years, bar none."

"You take a stairwell down below Old Sacramento to find Annabelle's. They have great lunch specials, and a family-friendly atmosphere. And, there's even a patio!"

WHAT??? OK, that had to be written by the owners....and so must the next two:

"Great Pizza doesn't even describe it‎."
(You're right, that DOESN'T describe it!)

"If there were more stars I could add I would, as its such a great Pizza Parlor. But its not like a 'regular' Pizza Place, it's more of an old school pizza experience. Its very home-oriented. You feel very comfortable at the location."
(Liar!)

After reading the reviews (the REAL ones) written by the customers, Frank and I felt validated, like we had proof. Those we've told this story to gave us that look that said, "You're just exaggerating....it couldn't be THAT bad!" But as you can see, Frank, Charley, Emily, and I are part of a select group of people who have all experienced the same, horrifying dining experience and lived to tell the story.

The review that captures my feelings about Annabelle's best is the following:

"The only good thing that came out of that place was the jokes and laughs we get every time we mention it!"

Yes, it cost $5.99 per person, but I've been thinking....it was worth it. You know, some people pay to go to the movies to laugh. Those cost more than going to Annabelle's. So I think it was a great investment! We will never forget it, and it will provide for laughter repeats for years to come. I love that. Next time you're in Sacramento, you gotta go!

My son-in-law Mike is a writer, and I think we'll take him there the next time they are here...there is a good story there. Maybe after he finishes the one about Manni, the grocer/mortician in our former town of Portola...the man with the long, curled and waxed mustache that roasted chickens at Southside market by day, and embalmed dead bodies in his basement at night.

Love Love Love....Charley and Vito, married!